


Of Ink and Rubber

by masteroffabulous



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: AU, F/F, F/M, Hospitalization, Hospitals, M/M, Mental Institutions, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rubberbang - Freeform, Strippers & Strip Clubs, look mom i posted, no grumps, she owns the place, stripper everyone lmao, stripper ross, washed up musician dan, woo holly's a stripper
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-11-22
Packaged: 2018-04-23 09:44:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4872100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masteroffabulous/pseuds/masteroffabulous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He had to be a fucking liquid with the way he moved up the stage. The silk trails on his lingerie (Dan noted it was women’s lingerie. It had a death grip on the kid’s package.) defied gravity, almost oozing behind him.</p><p>??Hiatus??</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm a Stitch Away

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to issue a formal apology.  
> Sorry about this lmao  
> the name keeps changing but i like this one better.

Dan was getting too old for this shit. ‘This shit’ being the stripclub he was sitting in; it was like something out of GTA: the chairs were soft, swanky, and-Dan didn’t want to think about this-slightly crusty.

The lights were low and red, only a spotlight really illuminating the stage. Dan was sitting at the bar, sort-of-but-not-really drinking a frighteningly pink drink. All things considered, he could have been in a worse place.

He hadn’t even been watching the dancers. He’d been to a fair amount of clubs in his twenties, but it wasn’t his scene.

“-verybody’s favorite Aussie!” Shook Dan out of his thoughts. Huh, an Australian girl. Was that any different from an American girl? Did she come out on stage with a live koala? None of these, apparently, since the person on stage wasn’t a girl.

He had to be a fucking liquid with the way he moved up the stage. The silk trails on his lingerie (Dan noted it was women’s lingerie. It had a death grip on the kid’s package.) defied gravity, almost oozing behind him.

He did some complicated-ass move, flipping upside down on the pole and gazing at the audience. Fuck, he looked good in a skirt. The kid slid down the pole, landing in splits.

And fuck if Dan wasn’t tenting at this point. The silk stuck to his ass and you could almost see the outline of his dick through the bottom. Dan was straight and some change;adventurous and desperate, especially recently. Being a rockstar didn’t really pay off if nobody knew who he was.

He gunned it out of the place before the kid was off the stage. He was at half a chub before. He just needed to head home, jack off without waking Barry, and get some sleep.

Dan didn’t manage to grab one of the five taxis that drove through. With a quick glance at his phone, Dan saw that it was now 2:23 A.M. Just fucking great. There was no way Danny could just walk home in this part of town. He didn’t want Barry to have to come literally pick him up from rock bottom. He battled with himself for all of two seconds before calling Barry.

Halfway through the call a hand on his shoulders startled Danny so hard he dropped his phone.

"Jesus man,” He said, picking up his phone from the concrete, “you made drop my fucking ph-”

The sharp smirk shut Dan up immediately. He was still at half-mast for the guy. _Fuck me_.

“Was it an important call?”

Dan stupidly stated back, “You don’t sound Australian.” The boy giggled.

“I’ve lost most of my accent.” And then, “I’m Ross.”

“Danny.” Dan said with a nod.

“What do you do? Like for work, I mean.”

“I-” What did he do? Dan’s current occupation was eating Barry’s food. “I’m a musician.”

Ross’ eyes lit up. “What do you play?”

“I-I sing actually.”

“Are you in a band? Hey, the call is still going.”

So it was. With another nod to Ross, Dan put the phone up to his ear.

“-at the fuck? Dan?”

“Bar, hey, sorry. I was wondering if you could pick me up?” He asked nervously.

“Ugh, fuck Dan-yeah. Where are you?”

“Um…” He glanced at Ross, still standing impatiently behind him.

“Hey.” Ross perked up. “What’s the address?”

“950 Parker Street. Club Pansy.” Ross said with a wink.

“950 Parker Street, Bar.”

Barry sighed on the other end of the line. “I’ll be right over.”

“Thanks Bar. Bye”

Dan looked back over to Ross again. The kid was smirking even fucking harder, if that was possible.

“So,” Ross said slowly, “are you in a band?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Was he flirting with you?"

Barry asked as soon as Dan had buckled his seatbelt.

Dan shook his head. “I can’t date jailbait, Bar.”

“I forgot you’re like, 50.” Barry laughed. “Hey-don’t punch the driver!”

They laughed for a second before lapsing into a comfortable silence. Dan almost forgot to check what Ross had written.

_I like your hair_

Under that was a drawing of a dick and a phone number.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_RubberNinja @ 4:15_

_dude wake up_

__

_Egoraptor @ 4:30_

_wht the hell ross_

__

_RubberNinja @ 4:32_

_i met a guy_

_RubberNinja @ 4:32_

_he has like fucking giant hair_

__

_RubberNinja @ 4:33_

_and hes a musician_

__

_Egoraptor @ 4:35_

_was he at pansy??_

__

_RubberNinja @ 4:36_

_yeah_

_RubberNinja @ 4:36_

_hes the lead singer in band_

****  


_RubberNinja @ 4:36_

_its called ninja sex party_

__

_RubberNinja @ 4:39_

_aaaaaarrrrriiiinn_

__

_RubberNinja @ 4:41_

_arin_

__

_RubberNinja @ 5:02_

_youre no fun man_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ross had a flexible schedule. On Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday he was off work. He would sometimes go to Arin’s to play video games, or just stay home and play Pokemon.

Arin and Suzy didn’t give a shit about him being a stripper; he was thankful. It was never fun to tell a prospective date that he took off his clothes for living. Most people saw him as diseased, like he must have every STD in the human world.

He won’t lie, telling Arin was the most stressful thing he had to do that year. Not only was Arin one of his best friends, Suzy sort of scared him. He thought Arin would be too disgusted with him to hang out anymore. He thought Arin would tell Suzy and she’d get pissed at him for sitting on the furniture or some shit.

But they were cool.

“How’re you supposed to do that shit with your string-bean body? You need muscles to hold yourself up, bro.” Arin had said.

Ross shot back, “I have muscles!” Arin snorted.

_Egoraptor @ 12:04_

_sweet_

__

_RubberNinja @ 12:04_

_yeah_

__

_(New chat with Danny Sexbang!)_

__

_Danny Sexbang @ 12:24_

_ross?_

His heart skipped a beat. He didn’t think Dan would actually text him.

_RubberNinja @ 12:25_

_‘Danny Sexbang”?_

__

_Danny Sexbang @ 12:26_

_what?_

__

_RubberNinja @ 12:26_

_nothing_

__

_RubberNinja @ 12:28_

_im kinda surprised youre actually texting me_

__

_RubberNinja @ 12:29_

_most people get turned off at the whole ‘stripper’ thing_

__

_RubberNinja @ 12:30_

_oddly enough_

__

_Danny Sexbang @ 12:32_

_oh no man_

__

_Danny Sexbang @12:32_

_i dont give a shit_

_Danny Sexbang @12:33_

_i was at the stripclub_

__

_Danny Sexbang @ 12:33_

_i can’t really care_

__

_Danny Sexbang @ 12:36._

_you were good by the way_

__

_RubberNinja @ 12:36_

_i know_

__

_RubberNinja @ 12:37_

_hey_

Ross stopped. He kept his finger balanced over the send button for all of two seconds before pressing it.

__

_RubberNinja @12:38_

_you wanna get lunch later?_

__

_Danny Sexbang @ 12:45_

_sure_


	2. This Is For The Kids Who Ain't Got No Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was running; at least, he thought he was. The wall in front of him wasn’t getting any closer. Actually, it seemed to be getting farther away, twisting and bending and getting smaller until it looked like it was miles away. He couldn’t breathe and there was a stitch in his side, but the person following him was fast. He knew he had to keep running. Just keep running.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit an update  
> danny and ross went to taco bell at the end of chapter one but i couldn't figure out how to write it  
> also my schedule is awful atm so expect updates to be wonky  
> Also edit:::: i just realized the tildes look weird on mobile whoops

_He was running; at least, he thought he was. The wall in front of him wasn’t getting any closer. Actually, it seemed to be getting farther away, twisting and bending and getting smaller until it looked like it was miles away. He couldn’t breathe and there was a stitch in his side, but the person following him was fast. He knew he had to keep running. Just keep running._

_The person was gaining. They could run much faster than he could and didn’t look like they would slow down. Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder pull him down and right before he felt his head hit the pavement he woke up._

**  
**

Ross woke up suddenly, and in a cold sweat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The walk to Pansy usually went by smoothly. The night was muggy. Ross could feel the wet heat dripping from the air, making him sweat. He couldn’t shower at work; not like he wouldn’t be sweating when he started dancing, but he would still smell gross. Weekdays were really fucking weird for stripclubs. On weekends it was easier, all the normal, married guys and twenty-somethings, occasionally a bachelor/bachelorette party. But weekdays saw the gross, sweaty guys who smelled like B.O. and old cheese. They were way too handsy and got uniquely more pissed than the weekend guys when he made them lay off.

**  
**

The only person in the dressing room when Ross walked in was one of the other male dancers; Mark Fischbach. His stage name was ‘Markimoo.’ Ross guessed he couldn’t judge, considering he didn’t even have a stage name.

“Hey Ross!” Mark waved. He was smudging on some eyeliner in the vanity mirror.

Ross waved back. “Hey Mark. Where’s Jack?” The last male stripper, and only non-American other than Ross himself, wasn’t in the room, and it wasn’t his time to go on.

“Oh, he’s at home. Food poisoning. He ate some bad McDonald’s and now he’s shitting his eyes out.” Mark shrugged. He had moved on from eyeliner and looked like he was deciding on whether or not to wear lipstick.

“I thought McDonald’s couldn’t spoil?” Mark just shrugged again, opting for no lipstick, before he said,

“It’s time for me to go on. Wish me luck!”

“You don’t need it, man.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ross felt the smooth metal of the pole under his leg. He had it swung up on the side of the pole, his other leg bent backwards off the pole. He was upside down, gripping it for dear life. He could see dollar bills scattered over the stage; fucking sparse even for a Thursday afternoon.

He slowly turned, gripped the pole with his other leg and stuck his left one out. He was fucking good.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While the walk to Pansy was relatively normal, walking home was a different story. Ross got to work at 8-ish, and walked home at four in the morning. He lived in bad neighborhood; his whole life was in a bad neighborhood. Pansy wasn’t actually that far from his apartment, only about three blocks, but the freaks came out at night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_He felt his brain bounce against his skull when he smacked into the concrete. Something warm trickled down from his head into his collar._

_“Don’t make any fucking noise.”_

_Uh oh. He opened his mouth to scream but choked on it when a calloused hand grabbed his throat._

_“No. Fucking. Noise.”_

_He shook his head vigorously, trying to ignore the pain. Satisfied, the hand pulled from his throat and-_

_oh._

_Oh fuck no._

**  
**

Ross woke up in a cold sweat the fifth night in row. Like every other night, he couldn’t remember what had gone on in the dream, only that he was terrified and in pain and, recently, slimy.

Sighing, Ross rolled over to look at the clock on his nightstand. 3:32 A.M.

 _Fucking amazing_ , Ross thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Say it.”

Brian had been pestering Dan for a solid fifteen minutes.

“I’m not going to fucking say it.”

“C’mon, we’re both guys. Say it.”

“Fine. Goddammit.” Dan sighed. Fifteen fucking minutes of this. “I’m a sexy wittle baby.”

“Ha! You did it!” Brian laughed. He actually felt emotions off stage. Dan sometimes wished he didn’t.

“This is sexual harassment, dude. Stop making me do gay shit.”

Dan barely heard the “You do gay shit on your own” before he pulled the van into the McDonald’s drive-thru.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I wanna meet him.” Arin said. He, Ross, and Jon were playing Bloodborne. Specifically, Arin was playing, Ross and Jon were watching. “Fuck!” Arin shouted. He got swamped by two dogs and a Huntsman.

“Meet who?” Jon asked.

“Ross’ boyfriend.” Arin said. He had spawned back at the last lantern, which was really fucking far from where he was.

“He’s not my boyfriend, dude. I’ve only known him for week.”

“What’s ‘is name?” Jon asked.

“Goddammit! Fucking dogs!”

“Dan.” Ross answered.

“What’s ‘e look like?” Jon had settled back into watching Arin explode.

“He’s got big hair.”

“What the-! Dammit! Why the fuck does the wheelchair guy have a gun?”

“I wanna meet ‘im too.” Jon said.

“Why?” Ross said back, without looking. Arin was taking on a boss, finally. They both watched Arin cleave the Cleric Beast, narrowly dodging its attacks.

“Yes! Fucking yes! Eat my tits I fucking did it!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_RubberNinja @ 2:02_

_dan_

_**  
** _

_Danny Sexbang @ 2:03_

_ross_

_**  
** _

_Egoraptor @ 2:03_

_danny sexbang????_

_**  
** _

_Danny Sexbang @ 2:04_

_what???_

_**  
** _

_JonTron @ 2:05_

_nothing_

_JonTron @ 2:05_

_come over_

_**  
** _

_Danny Sexbang @ 2:08_

_what_

_**  
** _

_Egoraptor @ 2:09_

_we wanna meet you_

_**  
** _


	3. I Guess That's Very True

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything sort of blended together until the scene behind his eyes was the color of cafeteria gravy. He didn’t want to open them. Something had gone wrong, really wrong, judging by the tendrils he could feel curling around his torso. They rolled along his midsection like wet silk, leaving him thankful he was sitting on something. Wait. What the fuck was he sitting on? He opened his eyes and-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey hey I changed the name! I'm very professional  
> Guess who's not happy with this chapter?  
> It me  
> If I didn't post it now it wouldn't be posted ever, probably.  
> Anyway, fuckin, shit gets real now. The next chapter is gonna be long and will be reviewed by people, like chapter one  
> n im probably gonna edit this later tbh

_Everything sort of blended together until the scene behind his eyes was the color of cafeteria gravy. He didn’t want to open them. Something had gone wrong, really wrong, judging by the tendrils he could feel curling around his torso. They rolled along his midsection like wet silk, leaving him thankful he was sitting on something. Wait. What the fuck was he sitting on? He opened his eyes and-_

**  
**

Ross opened his eyes. A quick check told him that he still had every limb and no tentacles. Shrugging, still under the covers, he fell back asleep.

**  
**

_He was sitting- no, lying, in the back of a Kia Sorento. He didn’t know how he knew it was a Kia Sorento, just that it was. A small grunt alerted the driver, who slammed the brakes and sent him sliding off the seats._

_“Mmurrph!”_

_The driver scrambled out of the driver’s seat and into the back, narrowly avoiding stepping on the passenger._

_“Shit, kid, I’m sorry. Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck fuck-”_

_“Wh-” He tried to ask what the fuck was going on but choked on the ‘what.’ The driver’s mouth had opened, and inky black tentacles poured out._

_**  
** _

For the first time in a long time, Ross woke up screaming. For the first time in a long time, Ross remembered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

These guys had fucking walls of video games. Dan stood in the center of what he was told was called the ‘Grump Room,’ with Arin and Jon proudly flanking him. Ross, however, wasn’t there yet. It was strange, seeing as Ross was the only reason Dan was even here.

After the group chat, Arin gave Dan the address and a meeting time-11:30. After Ross’ confirmation that it was okay, everyone logged off. Speaking of-

“Where the hell is Ross?” Dan asked. Arin’s face lit up with realization.

“Oh fuck. He texted me this morning, said he was sorry, he couldn’t come.”

Dan groaned. “Fuck, man.” He really did not want to be alone with two dudes he didn’t really know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Tendrils. Blood. Fuck fuck fuck. They were going down his throat. He struggled, fought, choked. Deeper deeper deeper, down his throat, spreading ink and filth and-_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Five minutes later, the three men were sat shoulder-to-shoulder on the Grump Room couch, Dan and Arin on the ends, Jon in the middle.

“What is this? What is this?!” Arin screamed. Knuckles glitched on a wall and Arin looked like he was going to shit himself. He wasn’t even the one playing.

“I’m stuck!” Jon roared. He was laughing so hard Dan thought he was gonna blow an artery.

“You gotta look inside yourself and say, ‘What am I willing to put up with today?” Not! Fucking! Th-”

“H-hey guys.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Ink. Ink ink ink. Tons of ink flooding down his fucking esophagus. He struggled while the tentacles spat black into his stomach. He tried to bite them, tried to sever the appendage in his mouth, but it was hard, nothing like it felt._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ross!” Jon and Arin jumped up from the couch, nearly squashing Dan in the process. Ross leaned against the doorframe trying to stifle a yawn. He looked haggard, and much younger than he was. There wasn’t a hint of that seductive mischief he’d shown when he and Dan first met.

In seconds the two men had pulled up a desk chair and handed Ross a water bottle, without speaking. Dan thought it was strange that Ross hadn’t said what was wrong, or even asked for water, for that matter, but Arin and Jon knew what to do.

This had probably happened before. Dan realized he was probably intruding, and got up to leave.

“Don’t.”

Dan looked over at Ross. He had his knees pulled up against his chest, his head sitting on them. Dan slowly sat back down. Arin and Jon had their heads together at one of the shelves of games.

“No.” Jon whispered.

“C’mon. It’ll make him feel better.” Arin said.

“No.”

“Jooooooooon.” Arin whined, drawing out the ‘o’.

“Fine. Fuck you.” Jon replied. They’d stopped whispering.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_“Oh fock, oh fock, oh fock.”_

_Huh. An Irish accent. Last he checked his feet were firmly planted on American soil. Slightly more worried-how did he even get to Ireland?-he squeezed his eyelids together, still closed._

_“Jack, calm down.”_

_Okay. Good to know he hadn’t boarded a plane recently._

_“Fock, Mark. He’s wakin’ up.”_

_Fuck. He slowly opened his eyes, wary of the men. He couldn’t see the man driving, but the passenger was turned around, staring right at him. In the dark of the car, he could see the man’s hair was shaved on the sides, and black, but hot pink on the top._

_“Where…-” He started, but pink cut him off._

_“We’ve been driving around for a little while. We didn’t want to just drop you off anywhere, and we don’t know where you live.”_

_“You were jus’ layin’ there! We couldn’t leave you!” The driver shakily added._

_“I’m Mark, and this is Jack.” Mark pointed a thumb towards Jack. They passed under a streetlight, and for a brief moment he caught sight of the gold glitter across Mark’s eyelid._

_“I-I’m Ross.”_

_He was Ross. He said it louder, a second time._

_“I’m Ross.”_

_It grounded him. He was Ross, is Ross. He has friends and family and a house and **where the hell is he?**_

 

_“I’m Ross. Fuck. I’m Ross.” The constant repetition seemed to freak Mark the fuck out. He glanced over at Jack with a pleading look and Jack said,_

_“No. He said he didn’t wanna go to th’ hospital.”_

_“What’re we gonna do then?” Mark questioned._

_After a few beats of silence, Jack answered._

_“Take him to Holly.”_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What the fuck is this?” Dan asked. The T.V. was plugged into a NES, and the screen glowed in shades of brown.

“Arin thought stupid drug games would cheer Ross up.” Jon explained.

Dan didn’t think it would help. Ross had fallen asleep minutes after he sat down, his head resting on his knees in the tiny desk chair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Ross didn’t know where Mark and Jack were taking him (or who Holly was), which should have been way more worrying. But Ross had just remembered who he was, and was busy rattling off personal details to the ever-understanding pink haired man in front._

_“So, you’re Australian? Where’re you from?” Mark asked._

_Smiling, Ross answered, “Perth.”_

_“We’re here.”_

_Mark grinned apologetically. “C’mon man. Let’s get inside.” Mark opened the passenger side door after climbing out of the front and helped Ross get out. They were under a glowing neon sign that read ‘Pansy’ in curvy script. Mark helped Ross through the front door and laid him on a table._

_Jack said something about finding Holly, and a moment later a woman walked in. She had short pink hair (not unlike Mark’s, Ross decided), bright red lips, and a pink Playboy Bunny-esque leotard on, except she had little wing cuffs._

_“Mark, what the fuck.” It didn’t sound like a question._

_“He was jus’ layin’ on the road, naked!” Jack said. Now that he mentioned it, Ross realized someone had tied a hoodie around his bare waist._

_“How the fuck…?” Ross mused. Holly’s gaze softened considerably, and she leaned over him._

_“What happened to him?” Mark and Jack looked at each other. In the light, Jack’s hair was much the same as Mark’s, except the top was green instead of pink._

_“We uh-we think that he…” Mark trailed off._

_“What? You think that he what?”_

_Mark gestured towards Ross._

_He was pretty badly bruised; he was glad he couldn’t feel it. Ross thought of questioning why he couldn’t feel it, but decided there had been too many questions. He was tired._

_“It’s fine,” He started, slightly slurring the words, “I can’t feel it. ‘M tired, guys.”_

_Holly looked absolutely stricken. Jack looked terrified, and Mark sad. Ross managed to get out one more, “Where ‘m I?” before falling asleep on the table._

 


	4. Don't Breathe Life into a Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ross tapped the counter impatiently, waiting for his coffee. After falling asleep on the guys (he didn't even see what they were playing, supposedly for his own benefit) he woke up to Arin spreading an afghan over his sleeping body. Someone had moved him to the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha holy shit don't hurt me  
> tw-ish sorry bout that but it just gets worse from here i promise  
> also as promised this chapter was read by a living human that wasnt myself (although said human also recently watched the smosh movie and liked it so i dont know the credibility of their review).   
> also i am very sorry im trying

Ross tapped the counter impatiently, waiting for his coffee. After falling asleep on the guys (he didn't even see what they were playing, supposedly for his own benefit) he woke up to Arin spreading an afghan over his sleeping body. Someone had moved him to the couch.

"Wha' time 's it?" Ross moaned. He wasn't happy to be woken up from the first pleasent dream he'd had in weeks.

"About 11:30." Dan answered.

Why was he still there? Ross mused while he poured his coffee. He easily could have left the second Ross fell asleep. He was in a room with pretty-much-strangers for God knows how long.

Ross asked Dan immediately why he was still in the Grump Room.

“I was having fun.” Dan shrugged. Ross didn’t put up much of a fight when Arin ushered him towards the door, intending to take him back to his place. Arin gave Dan an apologetic once-over before asking where he lived.

“I’ll drive you home, man.” Dan didn’t put up much of a fight either. Both men sat in the back, Ross leaning slightly on Dan’s shoulder. He remembered now that he was fucking gone; he got drool all over Dan’s t-shirt and had to be almost carried up the stairs. It wasn’t any surprise why he was so out of it: first time he’d slept in weeks. First time tentacles didn’t come out of someone’s mouth when they spoke. Ross shuddered. He could practically feel them wrapping around his body like foot-long worms.

He glanced at the clock above the stove. 9:17.

Fuck.

He hadn’t realized he woke up at fucking nine. He had to be at work at nine-fucking-thirty, and meant to leave at eight. Night was an awful time to be walking around with lingerie under his clothes in a bad neighborhood. For a second time, he shuddered. Maybe he could catch a cab.

Ross quickly poured the remaining coffee in a travel mug and set to work putting on pants. At 9:23 he was ready to go, sprinting out the front door and down the steps. There wasn’t even a car in the driveways of the apartment buildings around his.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ross nearly plowed down the door to the dressing room. Jack jumped at the sudden slam, nearly stabbing the eyeliner pen into his eye. He was sat at his own vanity. It was embellished lime green and had little pictures of eyes all over it.

“Why’s there mud on your jeans?”

“What?” Ross looked down. Mud was caked down the legs of his jeans. “How the fuck?”

“Nevermind that, man. Holly’s pissed. Your set was like an hour ago.”

“...What?”

“Your set, numbnuts. It’s 11:00 now, at least.”

“What?!”

Jack sighed impatiently. He rolled his eyes at Ross and wordlessly pointed to the clock. It was a chintzy cat thing, bright pink like the sign out front. The curled tail ticked along the minutes and the cat’s green eyes shot back and forth, back and forth, in time with its tail. It read 10:52.

For the fourth time in as many words, Ross shouted, “What?!”

Jack raised an eyebrow. “You okay?” The annoyance slid off his face and was replaced by genuine concern. Jack had seen Ross at his worse, after all.

“I woke up at nine, man. I thought I’d get here at like, ten, maybe. It’s fuckin’ weird.”

Jack nodded. “That is fockin’ weird. I gotta go, though. My set.” Jack grinned at Ross, patted him on the shoulder, and jumped off the vanity seat.

Ross decided he should probably go face Holly, explain how he woke up in a goddamn time-warp and forgot to put on his ‘uniform’ (something he hadn’t realized until this very moment).

He walked down the hallway off the side of the dressing room. It was sterile compared to the rest of Pansy; white walls and a linoleum floor lit completely by fluorescent lights. Holly’s office was imposingly at the very end of the hall. The hallway was built in just to make whoever had the misfortune of ending up in Holly’s office feel a sufficient amount of dread, Ross was sure of it.

He knocked on the faux-wood door and walked into the office. Holly looked up from her phone.

“Goddammit, Ross. Where the hell were you?”

Ross shrugged and started up on his ‘timewarp’ excuse. “I swear I left at 9:30, Holly! I guess I zoned out on the way here or something.”

“Why is there mud all over your jeans?”

Ross shrugged again and said, “Beats me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Holly let Ross go after she finished chewing him out for being late; like Jack, she was concerned. It was a pretty strange situation, after all: Ross showing up late to work, his pants covered in mud and an hour lost.

He had just come up on the alleyway with ‘FIGHT THE SYSTEM’ spraypainted across a dumpster when he saw them. Two smooth imprints in the mud, shaped like two shins, two handprints above them.

Ross bent down to examine them. He stuck his left hand in one to measure the size. It was perfect. He looked up to look at the alley a bit better.

Someone had (jokingly, Ross assumed) painted ‘SQUIDWARD SMELLS’ in small letters on the right wall. Next to it was a stencil of a child on a swing. A child on a swing. Ross gaped at the stencil for what felt like a solid minute before retching into the dirt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_“Where you goin’, pretty boy?” A gruff voice asked from behind him. Ross stopped walking, frozen in fear._

_“I said, where you goin’, pretty boy? Answer me.”_

_“I-I-I-I” Ross tried to stutter out some kind of answer, some kind of protection so he could maybe go home without getting fucking stabbed. The voice, a man, Ross now knew, grabbed his shoulders and spun him around._

_“What’s a pretty thing like you doin’ walkin’ around here at this time ‘o night?” He laughed. Ross was about to try and scream when he was shoved into the alley behind them. He struggled, the holding him down with one hand while holding a pocket knife to his neck with the other._

_“Don’t. Fucking. Scream.”_

_Ross nodded. Okay, yeah, he wouldn’t scream if it meant he could leave alive. He tried to focus on nothing but the stencil of a child on a swing while his pants were roughly pulled down._

  



	5. But For What We've Become We Just Feel More Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this still sucks even after i edited it but w/e  
> ive been messed up for a little while but i plan to write more over break so yeah

“Jesus fuck, Ross.”

Nobody had seen Ross for over a week. It wasn’t abnormal-he didn’t have to hang out with them-but they’d all started to get worried when none of their texts changed from ‘Delivered to ‘Read’, and eventually, from ‘Sent’ to ‘Delivered.’ Dan had been sending more time with Arin, Jon, and recently Suzy, and was sitting on the couch when Holly called.

“I sent Mark and Sean over, but they couldn’t get in!” Holly shouted into the receiver.

Suzy tried her best to sooth her friend. “What do you mean they couldn’t get in?”

“They said he nailed his goddamn door shut!”

By now Arin and Danny were no longer focused on the game, instead switching from staring questioningly at Suzy to staring questioningly at each other. Jon walked in with two bowls of popcorn.

“Wha’s wrong?” He asked.

Now he was looking back and forth from Arin and Danny to Suzy, straining to hear what Holly was saying.

“What?” Suzy said.

“Nailed. His. Goddamn. Door. Shut.”

“Does Ross even own a hammer?”

“Why would Ross need a hammer?” Jon shouted from across the room.

“A hammer?” Arin and Danny said in unision. “Why does Ross need a hammer?”

“He’s probably dead!” Holly screamed. Suzy held the phone away from her ear with a pained expression.

“Holly, he’s not-”

“His fucking apartment door is nailed shut, Suze.”

With an exasperated sigh, Suzy gave in.

_

The four of them opted to take Danny’s van. Arin drove, Suzy sitting next to him in the passenger seat, and Dan and Jon seated amongst the equipment. Brian’s keyboard jostled alarmingly, like it didn’t like having others in its space, and frankly, Jon and Dan couldn’t agree more. The gross car carpet was hurting both of their asses, and every once and awhile the keyboard would almost fall over, almost brain one of them, but it never did, and the drive down Ross’ pothole-filled road was agonizing. Arin parked Dan’s van in the gravel drive outside of the building, and they filed in.

The front desk was shitty: the desk itself was stained, with chunks taken out of the fake wood. The whole room was faded mustard yellow and deep brown stains. Dan heard a scream from somewhere upstairs.

They spared no pleasantries with the doorman, rushing to the old ass looking elevator and punching the topmost button (the sign next to it said ‘Top’ in black sharpie.) The wait was god awful. Ross could be dead and they had to ride up ten floors in a rickety box before they get to find out.

Finally the elevator doors creaked open and they spilled out. True to Mark’s words, Ross’ apartment door was nailed shut. After a few tries of just knocking and calling out to Ross, Arin, Jon, and dan decided to take turns trying to break down the door. On the pullback from the fifth hit, the door swung open, revealing Ross, wide-eyed and in nothing but women’s lingerie. Not the frilly looking made-for-men lingerie from work, but actual women’s lingerie with bra cups and everything.

“Jesus fuck, Ross.” Dan breathed. He could see some of the one room apartment over Ross’ shoulder; it looked like he’d torn up every piece of clothing he owned besides the bra and panties he was wearing. The door wasn’t actually nailed up, just jammed with nails that may have been there when Ross moved in. Suzy rammed her way to the front and pulled Ross into a tight hug. He looked startled for a moment before he melted into the hug, and then started hugging back. Suzy guided him like this into the apartment and on to the couch.

“Ross,” she asked slowly, “what happened?”

He choked for a moment and fell sobbing into Suzy’s arms.

“I-I ca-a-a-an’t, I fucking-le-e-et him, fuck, fuck, fuck!” He wailed.

“Who...who did you let, dude?” Arin said tentatively.

“I don’t-I don’t know.”

Arin figured asking what the guy did could wait a few more seconds. “Why are your clothes torn?”

“Because I couldn’t remember what I was wearing.” Ross whispered. It was nearly inaudible.

“What?” Arin asked.

“I didn’t know what I was wearing and I didn’t want to see it anymore!” He yelled, in tears again.

“What, uh, what did he do?” Dan asked quietly.

“He-he-a” Ross tried talking, but had stopped suddenly. Suzy gripped his shoulder.

Ross wanted to laugh. He wanted to thank them for not running out on him in fear. He wanted to cry more, to scream and and hit things and apologise to his friends for worrying them, but he couldn’t make noise. He flailed his arms to alert the others, who instantly freaked the fuck out.

“Ross!”

He tried to yell back at Jon but still couldn’t speak, couldn’t scream. He settled for more flailing and clutching at his neck. He was pretty sure he couldn’t breathe, and scratched red lines down his neck. Everyone was screaming about calling 911. Ross didn’t find out who did. He passed out before he could hear anyone call.

-

When Ross opened his watery eyes for the first time, it was to thin, white light, which seemed to be streaming in from a window somewhere, bathing the room in light grey. Ross let his head thunk down onto the other side of the pillow, awaking the other occupants.

“Ross!”

Ross tried to ask how long he was out, but found he still couldn’t speak. He mimed writing until Dan got the message and hurriedly handed him his own phone. Ross opened the notepad and typed _how long was i out?_

Arin answered first. "About...about an hour, dude. The doctor said you only should've been out for a couple minutes at most; when you didn't wake up they stuck you in here." He waved his hands around the room, looking uneasy.

_oh_

"...Yeah." Arin said. He wouldn't look Ross in the eyes, none of them would.

_what's wrong?_

Everyone finally turned their eyes on him. Arin was pale, Suzy looked like she was going to cry, and Jon and Dan were frozen in the corner.

"Ahh, ahem. Let's get the easy stuff out of the way first, yeah?" asked Arin."The doctors think they know what happened."

Ross shot up, suddenly hyper-aware. 

" _How?"_ He breathed. Ross said it so quietly that Arin had to lean in to hear him. When he did, he flinched.

"Fuck. Fuck, man, you uhh.. you have syphilis."

Ross probably should have had a worse reaction. He wished he could say that he screamed, or sobbed, but he just sat there and felt cold. Not all at once, but gradually, like ice water in his veins. He laid back down.

"Uh, okay, second thing: they wanna keep you in psych. You had, like, a full-blown psychotic breakdown, dude. We thought you were gonna die."

Ross held up a thumbs-up.

_Yeah, sure, whatever._

Arin stood in place for a second before nodding stiffly and walking to stand beside Suzy.


End file.
